Let me ask you this: How many people do you know that have no qualms about pursuing their dreams? Are you going after what you really want or is something stopping you every time you think of trying?
If the latter is the case, let me tell you: you are not alone. So many of us struggle to get over that barrier. While the pandemic forced a lot of us to re-evaluate our life and priorities, we still can’t take that first step towards a new direction.
If you’ve ever wondered what’s stopping you, and your frustration has got you chasing your tail, then you’re in the right place. Once you read these 6 things that are stopping you from pursuing your dreams, you will have a better understanding of all the factors playing a part in your hesitation. My hope is that you will start to get a feeling/idea on which of those apply to you and change your thinking around it so that the dissonance between your dreams and reality becomes smaller and smaller.
So let’s dive right in.
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1. Fear:
Without a doubt, fear is the first thing stopping us from doing anything different and new, especially if it something completely out of our usual norm.
The main fear that takes control is that of failure. We all seem to have the wrong understanding of failure these days. What is failure after all, if not true evidence that you are trying to succeed? What if, instead of giving up, we see failure for what it really is - a gift. A gift showing us the way forward - if one way doesn’t work, then try another one.
It’s the people that keep trying in different ways after multiple ‘failures’ along the way, that actually succeed. There is so much wisdom in every failure, and so much direction, if we only just look for it. As the saying goes, “if your plan fails, change the plan - not the goal”!
2. Overthinking:
We are very much educated and raised to use analysis and logic to solve problems and finding solutions, but everyone forgets we have also been gifted with intuition and emotional intelligence. When wanting to make a change and experiment with something new, it is mostly the latter two that can push us forward into action, while analysing -i.e. overthinking - holds us back in a place of inertia.
For anyone considering changing careers or going after what they’ve always wanted to do, the energy required to pursue it lies in our intuitive and emotional self, if we only open ourselves up to it, listen and feel.
3. Right or Wrong:
Society tends to teach us that there is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer for everything, and this polarisation is embedded deep into our thinking process. So when we start entertaining an idea of something new we want to do, we tend to think along those lines - is it the right thing, the right idea? Or is wrong?
Well, let me tell you, I am sure that we have all let some really good ideas slide thinking they might not be ‘right’. Right for who? And, unless you try, how will you even know? Remember that, as long as it is something you really want to pursue, then it is the right thing for you regardless of the outcome.
If an idea exists within you and you feel really strongly about it, if it feels like an"itch" that won't go away no matter how much you scratch, then it is an essential part of your journey, and it will keep coming up over and over until you honour it and do something about it.
4. Procrastination:
It is so easy to procrastinate these days! We are all so busy, so overwhelmed, so over-stimulated, we barely have time to think of anything else. But it’s not that simple. One has to ask why we are so happy to procrastinate about something that is actually really important to us, when we find time for everything else?
Procrastination is closely linked to fear for the reasons talked about above, but there is also another element coming into play - a lot of us don’t feel safe or equipped to go into the heavy, messy, and emotional work required for exploring new possibilities. It can be hard, even taxing, to get out of your comfort zone in order to pursue something completely new, but what lies beyond might offer fulfilment and purpose unlike anything we have experienced before.
5. Perfectionism:
Many of us stop ourselves from pursuing something new before we even get started, simply because we fall into the “I’ll never get it right anyway, so why even try” sort of thinking.
If you heard a close friend saying this, what would you advise them? How would you encourage them to just go for it and stop being so hard on themselves? Why is it so hard for us to speak kindly to ourselves, to encourage and support ourselves with compassion when we need it the most?
If you fall into this category, I invite you to think of these questions and think what the ultimate goal is. Perfection is so subjective, which by default makes it unachievable. Instead of focusing on the outcome, focus on the process & the effort you are putting into it, because that’s what matters. That’s what will get your fire burning, empower you with experiences and lessons, and give you a sense of purpose.
6. Self-sabotage:
How many of you have sabotaged yourself when things are going well? And if so, have you ever wondered why? Let me tell you something that might surprise you:
According to Gay Hendricks, author of The Big Leap, we all have an inner, subconscious thermostat that determines the amount of love, happiness and success we think we deserve. The problem is that once we feel we have gone over this limit, we do something to sabotage ourselves and bring us back down to that familiar level.
This limit is self-imposed, and its origin can be buried deep into our psyche and may need further exploration. Getting rid of this thermostat and reprogramming the mind to allow for infinite possibilities of success can be hard work, but just being aware that it is there is the first step to making a conscious effort to bypass it.
So there you go, the 6 Things Stopping You From Pursuing Your Dreams. Remember, with the right mind-frame, anything is possible! Whatever it is you really want to go after, just do it. And above all, keep trying and don’t give up!
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